Lilly

There are certain situations where we feel expected to do something.

Like when the man holds the door open for you. Unless there is a reason for holding the door, you are crippled or are holding something, it's just a cultural matter- an expectation. If no one expected it wouldn't be lacking manners.

Yet if he were doing it out of pure thoughtfulness and kindness it shouldn't matter if he received a 'thank you' or not as it is not about him. Also, the lack of a thank you and thus the discarding of 'common courtesy' shouldn't affect him so much as to complain about it at work.

I think this perfectly exemplifies some of the elephants in the room when it comes to what is wrong with a lot of folk these days; they feel entitled, as if they deserve certain things, perhaps, because we have grown too selfish.

It should be noted I always say thank you; I also don't expect people to say thank you and don't care if they do not say thank you if I open a door for them.

As someone pointed out below me, they said:

  • When they don't say thanks they are simply ignoring you. As if the door was automatic.

I disagree. That is dangerous language. Ignoring is an action, it is refusal to pay attention to. I'm not trying to be a snide dick but believe it or not, you - the one holding the door - are not the center of anything other than yourself. I guarantee very few people actually choose to ignore you and rather are so wrapped in themselves they simply don't see you and take the unexpected ease of exiting/entering the building for granted. Hell, their parent could have died that morning, anything could have happened. I try not to judge.

This, however, is me talking about opening doors where I live, which is Manhattan, where if you hold the door open it is not just for one person, it is for fifteen at least. Nonetheless, even if it is one person I am holding the door for I never ever expect anyone to do something for me.