Lilly

There are certain situations where we feel expected to do something.

Like when the man holds the door open for you. Unless there is a reason for holding the door, you are crippled or are holding something, it's just a cultural matter- an expectation. If no one expected it wouldn't be lacking manners.

Yet if he were doing it out of pure thoughtfulness and kindness it shouldn't matter if he received a 'thank you' or not as it is not about him. Also, the lack of a thank you and thus the discarding of 'common courtesy' shouldn't affect him so much as to complain about it at work.

I think this perfectly exemplifies some of the elephants in the room when it comes to what is wrong with a lot of folk these days; they feel entitled, as if they deserve certain things, perhaps, because we have grown too selfish.

It should be noted I always say thank you; I also don't expect people to say thank you and don't care if they do not say thank you if I open a door for them.

As someone pointed out below me, they said:

  • When they don't say thanks they are simply ignoring you. As if the door was automatic.

I disagree. That is dangerous language. Ignoring is an action, it is refusal to pay attention to. I'm not trying to be a snide dick but believe it or not, you - the one holding the door - are not the center of anything other than yourself. I guarantee very few people actually choose to ignore you and rather are so wrapped in themselves they simply don't see you and take the unexpected ease of exiting/entering the building for granted. Hell, their parent could have died that morning, anything could have happened. I try not to judge.

This, however, is me talking about opening doors where I live, which is Manhattan, where if you hold the door open it is not just for one person, it is for fifteen at least. Nonetheless, even if it is one person I am holding the door for I never ever expect anyone to do something for me.

Lilly

When someone does something nice for you, you're supposed to say thank you or acknowledge it in some way.

Whether it be a gift, knowledge or simply holding a door open. That's how manners and courtesy work. When you do not thank someone, it is considered rude. Being annoyed by a rude person is a perfectly normal reaction, and one reason that manners and courtesy became ingrained into our society.

Yes, you should do nice things out of the kindness of your heart. But it's fine to be upset when someone completely ignores the gesture and just keeps on walking. It's one thing to expect tangible repayment, but expecting a "thank you" doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you a normal member of society.

People that think it's okay to be rude will ultimately damage the level of courtesy in society by letting rude people carry on without being called on their bullshit.